Queens and the F*cking Patriarchy

I had the good taste of seeing two grown ass woman movies during the holidays; The  Favourite and Mary, Queen of Scots.

I do not often get this opportunity. As I told Suzanne Baltsar in our conversation on my Women With Books podcast , since I had kids, the only movies I see at the theater contain explosions and/or Disney characters.

But hey – I wrote a royal book this year and released one and I knew I needed to see these movies, made by talented women about three women who have been British queens; Queen Anne, Queen Mary, and Queen Elizabeth I.

Watching these two movies within a week gave me lots of thoughts and lots of feelings which I will now attempt to break down. Lucky you.

If you want real, professional reviews of these films check out Time Magazine or the New York Times. They hit on some of these same points, too.

WHAT I LIKED:

1. The costumes! The accents! The beautiful sets and scenery!

2. The performances of Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, Saorise Ronan and Margot Robbie. It’s almost embarrassing how much talent there is in that list and they all did a mesmerizing job.

3. The inclusion of minority actors and, for lack of a better word, queerness in both movies. The two movies handle this to varying degrees of success but all steps forward are um, forward and welcomed.

4. Obviously, the examination of historical women’s stories, especially women exerting and exploring their power.  This is one of my favorite themes to read and write about and we so rarely get to see it in cinema. However, this brings me to…

WHAT DROVE ME UP A WALL:

THE FLIPPING PATRIARCHY.

I mean, you cannot watch these movies and not see the greasy, pudgy fingerprints of the patriarchy all over these women’s lives. The church called Queen Mary a harlot when all she did was marry men that she was told to. Queen Elizabeth gave up marriage and motherhood because she feared that any man she married would eventually betray her and steal her throne. Queen Anne was batted around between the MEN of Parliament in order to further their political gains.

UGH.

Of the two movies, Mary, Queen of Scots infuriated me the most on this score. The themes of fertility and motherhood were pounded into the frozen Scottish peat and it stuck a pinkie toe into gender – comparing Elizabeth’s rejection of femininity to Mary’s embrace of it – and then having Mary’s choices of husband/motherhood essentially being her downfall.

I mean, none of this is news. It all happened 500 years ago so I shouldn’t get pissed off but I AM.

Because if any of these women – Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary or Lady Marlborough and Abigail Masham – had just flipped the patriarchy the bird and decided to join causes rather than fight each other  maybe history would have turned out a bit differently.

If they had just rejected the patriarchy’s definition of “power” maybe Queen Mary wouldn’t have been beheaded. (It happened 500 years ago. I’m not putting a spoiler alert on this, y’all.)

If they had just formed a consensual polyamorous commune, maybe Queen Anne could have loved both her best friend and her new friend and not been completely miserable.

Maybe that’s going too far?

Maybe not.

WHAT I’M CONTEMPLATING:
So yes, obviously these stories have me thinking about women, power, and history.  It’s something that comes up in my books as well. Most recently, I really explored these themes in THE ROYAL RUNAWAY. Princess Theodora is inspired by her royal female ancestors – how they dared to conquer navies and divorce deadbeat husbands.

And in my Sorority Sisters Mysteries, Margot Blythe is inspired by the founders of Delta Beta sorority. How they formed a sisterhood that would inspire and educate women in a world that didn’t share their values.

It’s one of my wheels, I guess. (Reader wheels is a concept I talked about in this episode of Women With Books: Chapter 36 with Becca Syme.)

And I can’t get the thought out of my head – what would have happened if Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Mary had met in person. What world would these two women have created, if they’d been allowed or even encouraged to FULLY own their power, without manipulative, greasy dudes trying to ruin everything.

But that would have been an alternate history. And a totally different movie.

And maybe a really good book? *evil grin*

What did you think about these movies? Were you as frustrated with the patriarchy as I was? Or did you just enjoy them as winter Oscar bait movies? Comment below or hit me up on Facebook or Instagram to discuss further!

Perfect Holiday Gifts for Everyone

Back for 2018! I’ve compiled a list of all my favorite things (kind of like Oprah, really) from this year that would make great gifts for everyone on your list - young, old, tall, short, etc.

Ready?

Let’s begin.

1. My favorite purse hook! I recommended it here, this little baby stays on your bag, is discreet yet mighty. – Clipa on Amazon.

2. The holidays means time with family and friends and I can only stand the constant roar of sportsball for so long. Also tweens and teens need a reason to get off their phones. Enter the family board game.

Two of our family favorites are this domino game (apologies for the name. There needs to be a new name for this, right? Like Crooked Train?) and my favorite card/ board game, Sequence.

3. Everyone needs cordless bluetooth headphones. I mean, it’s almost 2019!

I’ve bought 3 pairs of these. I use them until they fall apart and then buy another set. For $25, the value can’t be beat.

But if you want to upgrade someone’s listening experience, you can go with some noise canceling ones. My husband got these Bose headphones as a present to himself for business travel and they’re like a spa for your ears.

My cheaper favorite headphones seen out in the wild.

4. Great notebook & pens! Basic? Yes. But a lot of us planner nerds always appreciate a good writing pen and paper. A lot of people I know love a Rhodia Graph notebook. I’m going to ask Santa for a new Ecoqua grid notebook as I’m almost done with my old one.

Seen - the inside of my Ecoqua notebook.

And of course, you already know I’m recommending my favorite Micron Pens.

5. I took a felt message board to a gift swap last year and I think it would still be a hit this year too!

Handy even when one does not have a book that’s been out for one month….

6. Okay, this is the one gift suggestion that I don’t have YET. But I know a lot of people LOVE theirs and I’m definitely asking Santa for an air fryer too.

7. My whole family loves their Swell / Yeti/ Corksicle bottles and tumblers.

My favorite corksicle tumbler with a limited edition HBIC Nation sticker on it!

If you know someone who likes to keep their cold drinks cold and their hot drinks hot, here are a few stainless steel vessels I thought were stylish and practical.

A Corksicle wood “carafe.”

And then this special edition Swell bottle is pretty extra but in a sophisticated way.
Swell MCM:

8. Packing Cubes! The gift that no one knows they need until they get them!

Of course there are the utilitarian ones. Perfectly functional and a great gift.

And the fancy princess ones. You decide who is getting them and how much you love them.

I’d love to hear if you also love these gifts or what your go-to gift for people is this year! ‘Tis the season for sharing all the helpful tips!

Best Books to GIVE Now - 2018 Holiday Gift Edition

Last year I selected six books that would make excellent gifts for anyone and I decided to sort-of continue the tradition this year. I’m editing the list this year to only focus on the books I think my readers would enjoy.  I picked three non-fiction books and three novels that portray smart, full-hearted women who are defining their place in the world.

The Accidental Beauty Queen by Teri Wilson

I was lucky to receive an advanced copy of this and I have not stopped talking about it. From the author of the “Unleashing Mr. Darcy” series (you may know them from Hallmark movies),  Teri Wilson’s book about a beauty pageant is thoroughly funny, entertaining and romantic and would be perfect for teen/college aged readers on up.

Amazon || Apple Books

Any excuse for a Miss Congeniality GIF

And this one too!

The Light Over London by Julia Kelly

Amazon || Apple Books

So technically this book doesn’t come out until January 8, 2019 but do yourself (and the reader you love) a favor and pre-order it. It’s a fantastic story about the inspiring women  who protected London during World War II and their heartbreak, sacrifice and friendships.  

There are no funny GIFs about WWII and the Blitz but this one came up when I searched for “Women Fighting Nazis” so I guess it will do…

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Amazon || Apple Books

I’ve always followed politics and probably knew of Barack Obama before a lot of people had heard of him. I remember there was a column I read about how his wife, Michelle, was far more successful and accomplished than he, and that if he were to run for President, they expected her to be the first candidate’s wife to keep her job. Of course, she ended up being a fairly traditional and active First Lady but that original impression of her always stuck with me – that she was the brains in the marriage.  I am very excited to read (and give!) this memoir to learn more about this half of the former White House power couple.

Any excuse for my favorite world leader friendship GIF…

Together – Our Community Cookbook – HRH The Duchess of Sussex

Amazon

When I heard about this cookbook project, I knew I would love it. It supports a community of women who banded together to provide fresh food to their neighbors after a horrific tragedy. And it was announced by The Duchess of Sussex at an event where Prince Harry was caught stealing samosas so what’s not to love? (Watch it here)

Speaking of stealing food… turnabout’s fair play…

Whiskey in a Tea Cup by Reese Witherspoon

Amazon || Apple Books

I don’t buy every celebrity memoir, but I love the ones from celebrities I adore (usually the funny smart women – Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Shonda Rhimes). So of course Reese Witherspoon’s book instantly made the cut. Part memoir, part lifestyle guide, it reminds me of all the quirky things about being a modern Southern woman. We may be educated, independent businesswomen, but some rules about etiquette and fashion and food are still deeply ingrained in us. This book would be a great gift to anyone who loves Elle Woods.

Any excuse for an Elle Woods quote…

The Royal Runaway

Yes, my book IS the perfect Christmas gift for your girlfriends, daughters and sisters who fell head over heels during the royal weddings in 2018.  The book is a blend of mystery, adventure, and romance so there’s something for every type of reader!

Amazon || BN.Com || Simon & Schuster ||Apple || Amazon UK || Kobo

Any excuse for a royal wedding clip….

Four Simple Tools to Achieve Hygge

Hygge… that Danish buzzword is exactly what I’m craving this time of year. Simplicity, good company, warmth, coziness.

These hygge favorites of mine are probably pretty basic, but I never said I was complicated… much.

1 Something warm on the stove… or in the Instant Pot.

I’m pretty much the queen of soups, stews and chilis. It takes a lot of practice to be as good as me, but you can strive to achieve my level of soup-tasticness with an instant pot. I was converted last year and I use it at least once a week.

But I also love a good bubbly stew on the stove and for that, I recommend a Staub cast iron pot. Yes, Le Creuset has its adherents and I have a few of their products in my kitchen, but I like to be a little different. And you can even buy little knobs to add flair to your pot! How cute is that?

2. A 100% necessary part of the hygge home is a candle. Now, with all that soup and chili going on in the kitchen, you’ll probably just want to stick with unscented, simple candles from Ikea (shout out to Scandanavia!). But if you want to go with scented, I like a Woodwick candle for that extra-hygge crackle. Or, you might want to splurge on this Tom Ford one. Mostly because I want you to tell me what in the world this smells like.

3. Cashmere Gloves

I get cold, alright? I finally decided to pull the trigger on some cashmere fingerless gloves last winter and it made all the difference for this girl who spends a lot of time typing in a cold house.

But I also really like these. They are very reasonable, they say they’re “cashmere-like” and I like the Claire Randall Fraser thing they got going on.

Just waiting on Jaime Fraser to warm me up…

4. Slippers
What’s more cozy than warm toes-ies? (I couldn’t help myself! Sorry!)

I’m a fan of the classic Minnetonka mocassins and also straight up Smart Wool socks. Very practical and necessary and… dare I say it? Basic.

But what’s not basic? Springing for these.

Maybe Santa will remember that I had a royal romance novel come out this year…

What’s your favorite way to practice hygge? Pie? A roaring fire? A luxe blanket? Let me know!

Winter Beauty Survival Kit

Now that the season of cold and dry air is upon us (winter, I think some of you in more Northern climes call it), I have switched up my beauty routine.  Some of this is year-round, of course. Obviously I moisturize and exfoliate all twelve months of the year. But I do switch out the products and up the frequency because I have hair and skin that can easily get very dry and flaky if I don’t take care of it.

Step 1: Exfoliate!

I have dry-brushed for over a decade and I really can’t stop now, can I? This is one of those things that has suddenly gotten trendy (thanks to GOOP - here’s her instructions) but it’s been a must for me. I don’t know about the benefits to the lymphatic system and all that, but removing dead skin and stimulating collagen production is important to me. 

I use a dry brush before showering and a Salux cloth in the shower.

Step 2: Moisturize!

With a good quality face oil. These are too heavy for summer use in Texas but in winter, my skin loves them.

Some options: Snail cream.

I know. Snails, Lindsay? Really? But they’ve been using this ingredient in Asian skin care for forever and you might be surprised how light and lovely this ampoule is.

Another favorite of mine is Boscia Tsubaki Oil: Another import from Asia, supposedly this ingredient was used by geishas. This is the big gun stuff. A little goes a long way. My bottle is only half way done and I’ve had it for years (but now that my teenager has discovered it, it will probably go faster…. Argh.)

And I haven’t tried it, but I know tons of people love Sunday Riley Face Oil.

Step 3: Feel pretty!

After all the focus on dead skin and snail mucus, one wants to know that it’s all for a good cause. To help me feel good about it all, I tend to switch fragrances in the winter, looking for ones that aren’t too heavy but wear a little closer to the skin than my light, bright summer perfumes.

A long time favorite is Narciso Rodriguez For Her.

I also love wearing a light men’s cologne like Dior Homme in the winter – and it has nothing to do with their ad campaigns. Ahem.

And yes, a perfume by J.Lo makes the list. This one is so cozy and unique, I love it for lazy Sundays: J.Lo Still

Step 4: Hydrate!
With water, peppermint tea, vanilla lattes. Okay. But also your lips. Long time readers will know that I always have a lip balm handy.  My current favorites from the drugstore are the Lip Smacker Kiss Therapy balms (seen below). My favorite French brand of lip balm is Nuxe Reve de Miel, seen below or the perennial favorite, Fresh lip balm.

And those are my winter beauty must-haves. Simple, yet luxurious for cozy days. I’d love to know what your favorites are, too!